催眠自己，我是爱fashion滴!!

"Hello everybody, I am zhi wen. I am from Malaysia...I m here because i just want to change an environment to study.I m not good in english.I just want to improve myself here."

I have repeated this sentence many times within a week...

I know and i know. I m just an inernational student,who's english is terrible compare to others...Our lecturer changed, my classmate changed... Some of the lecturer dont like me, i can do nothing.I feel myself cant move on with my class.. when lecturer asks " who in the class eager to be a fashion designer after you graduate?"... "who read fashion magazine everyday?" ... " what are the trends for the newest seasons of fashion?"... i can tell, for sure i dont know everything about that... "who really love fashion?If i were you i already starts doing research and starts sketching already..." .."do you love fashion design?"... I am asking myself... why I am here... When I have free time i prefer to go practise song and dancing but not sit down there to do research and drawing... I m not them, fashion lovers.. I m not a fashion lover.. I never feel enjoy doing fashion.. I enjoy singing and dancing,yes sewing also...doing arts... I know i m not enjoying my studies, I m just do for the school and for my family... I regret ... I m sorry for my parents who spends much money sending me here... only the first week. I already lost my way, when will i get to there?...I cant imagine that i need to start writing reports...

"zwen, kenapa you macam tak suka sama saya like that?like not very close to me..."

在她问了我这个问题后，我发现原来我比以前独立了。以前就像她一样去到哪里都要人陪，害怕自己一个人，一定要朋友陪在身旁，现在的我居然喜欢一个人走走，一个人待在图书馆读书，一个人搭火车。可不可以不要等来等去... 我喜欢独立，不想再依靠谁...为什么在图书馆明明看见乐谱比看见服装杂志更有感觉，却硬要逼自己去拿那些看不太懂得英文杂志...难道以后，我都必须象朋友教的:"即使知道自己有多讨厌fashion design，你也要大声的告诉别人和自己-我爱fashion!!!!"third year already... i got no choice...I must get there... when there's a will, there's the way... keep going... whatever you can do...